Cheerleaders or Saboteurs – which do you have in your corner?

By Danielle Appi

You’re working your butt off (literally!), trying your hardest to be ‘good’, making all the right choices and then along comes your Husband/Wife/Best friend/Co-worker and shoves a piece of your favourite cake under your mouth and says, “come on, have one piece, it won’t hurt, you deserve it”. Sound familiar? How many of you have the willpower to say no?

Or, your Partner goes shopping and despite knowing that you are trying to clean up your nutrition comes home with bags full of ice cream, lollies, biscuits and the like.

How many of you have ‘treat’ rituals with others (partners, friends, children) that are based on food – a trip to Max Brenners for example? Or a tub of ice cream with 2 spoons in front of a movie on the couch? Or a shared bottle of wine every night to ‘relax’?

I’ve had this discussion with clients a fair bit this week. So many people trying to stay on track only to be ‘sabotaged’ by another encouraging them to ‘treat’ themselves. Why do the ones who say they love us act in a way that says the opposite?

Often it can simply be a case of them using YOU as an excuse for their own behaviour. “It’s a treat for YOU but really I want an excuse to indulge myself”.
Sometimes it might even be that the person is scared or concerned that you are going to change and become a different person so they’ll do what it takes to ensure your failure.

It might even come down to a simple case of jealousy that you are doing something positive to improve your health and wellbeing while they don’t have the willpower or mindset to help themselves at the moment.

So, what I want to know is, what do you do about it?

How do you communicate to your Saboteur that you need them to be your Cheerleader?

Someone that is in your corner, cheering you on, supporting your healthy choices and recognising and praising the hard work that you are putting in to improving your health and wellbeing?

Well, try this….simply ask them.

Sit down and have an honest, mature discussion with them about how serious you are in your quest to be healthier and happier and how much their support and love/friendship can assist you in your journey. Let them know that their actions can either make it that much easier for you or can make every day a battlefield that drains you.

Two things can happen:
Option A might be that your saboteur acknowledges that they have not been supportive and you could start to see them making an effort to help you on your journey.
Option B could see nothing change at all in their behaviour, in which case you need to think long and hard about this persons place in your life and whether they genuinely care and love you enough to keep around.

We all need cheerleaders in our life and the more people in our corner the more successful we will be.

Danielle Appi
Danielle Appi was the 2014 Oxygen Cover Girl Competition winner and is a current Oxygen ambassador. She is a wife and mother of two tween girls who challenge her daily! Danielle runs her own boot camp business, is a personal trainer, group fitness instructor and nutrition coach. She has come into her health and fitness career at a more ‘mature’ time in her life, she says, so she understands the difficulties faced with balancing kids, home, partners, work and YOU time. Danielle is most passionate about helping other women understand their own worth and true value. You can find her at or on Facebook 

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